I Am An Observer

 I Am Observing My Own Life. 

   I used to be in the "I Hate My Life" group, but i don't any more, my life is a great life, i fixed it, i have plenty of friends, i have lots to do, loads of hobbies, I am learning to climb, juggle, shoot with rifles and bows, my lectures are enjoyable, the City actually isn't as bad as i thought, its actually quite lovely.

   However, i still don't feel part of it all, I haven't connected to any of my friends, we hang out, enjoy each other's company, but if they were all to decide to stop talking to me, I don't think i would be hurt at all, just annoyed that i would need to find more friends. I am not great at social situations, so i run through them in my head a lot, i practice them, and i have got very good at social situations, but where before i just couldn't participate, now i can pretty much fill in my friend's parts of the conversation, we never talk about anything interesting, and they never say anything unpredictable.

  I feel like I am watching my life through glass (having glasses doesn't help alleviate this :P ) like everyone in it is just a 2D television character, and i have already read the script. Most of the time i know what they are gonna say before they say it. It feels real, but i feel separated from it. So even standing in the middle of a whole crowd of my friends, i feel alone.


Observe
Word Class:  Verb
EnglishEquivalent:

1. If  you observe a person or thing, you watch them carefully, especially in order to learn something about them.
2. Watch (someone or something) carefully and attentively.

English Sentence: She observed that all the chairs were already occupied.
Synonyms:  Notice